English writing example 6

First read the instructions for students. Then assess the level of this text by ticking the descriptor boxes below.

UN intervention is justified 

According to the Declaration of the human rights, has every person the right on these universal rights. This means that states should protect people from abuses of the human rights. However, in many states the government does not protect these rights; moreover, the government violates the them. Even though almost every state has signed the Universal Declaration. The discussion when there is a right to intervene is difficult; however, the United Nations (UN) should have the right to intervene in states which seriously abuses human rights, not only because the purpose of the UN is to protect the international security, but also because of the importance of the human rights.

One of the main reasons why the UN should have the right to intervene in a state which seriously violates the human rights, is because the purpose of the UN is to facilitate cooperation in international law, international security and human rights. The violation of human rights in a state might lead to a threat to the international security and destabilize the neighbouring states because of the overwhelming influx of refugees. This may pose a threat to the international peace; therefore, the UN should have right to intervene in certain circumstances.

Another reason why the UN should have the right to intervene, is because of the importance of the human rights. Some people argue that intervention is never allowed because of the principle of sovereignty. Although, this principle very important in international law, in certain circumstances the human rights prevail. When a state consequent violates human rights in spite of all the warnings, that state cannot claim sovereignty anymore. Furthermore, it is more important to save the people from suffering than respect this principle. Otherwise, all the states that seriously abuses human rights, could claim sovereignty and continue the violations. The UN is the organization that can intervene and is justified to do so.

However, opponents argue that it is too difficult to determine when the UN is justified to intervene. States all over the world violate human rights, nevertheless, the UN does not intervene in all those states. For instance, a few weeks ago, in the news was stated that the Netherlands had violated some human rights. Nonetheless, this will not lead to an intervention of the UN because this is not a threat to the international security. This is a quite obvious case; however, this will not always be like that. Besides, it will be difficult to agree on this point within the UN. However, there is still a discussion about the Rwanda failure in 1994. Most people say that the UN should have had intervened in Rwanda since there was a serious violation of the human rights. To avoid repetition of such a situation, the UN should have the right to intervene under certain conditions in certain circumstances.

To conclude, it is important that the UN has the right to intervene in a state which consequent violates human rights in spite of all the warnings of the UN. In some circumstances the respect of the human rights prevails the principle of sovereignty. Even though, it will be difficult  to come to an agreement within the UN.


(Source: EMBED project, © University of Groningen)
 



 

-
rng
rng -
range
acc
acc -
accuracy
coh
coh -
coherence
arg
arg -
argument
C2
- C2
CEF C2 level
rng - C2
Shows great flexibility in formulating ideas in differing linguistic forms to convey finer shades of meaning precisely, to give emphasis and to eliminate ambiguity. Also has a good command of idiomatic expressions and colloquialisms.
acc - C2
Maintains consistent and highly accurate grammatical control of even the most complex language forms. Errors are rare and concern rarely used forms.
coh - C2
Can create coherent and cohesive texts making full and appropriate use of a variety of organizational patterns and a wide range of connectors and other cohesive devices.
arg - C2
Can produce clear, smoothly flowing, complex reports, articles and essays which present a case or give critical appreciation of proposals or literary works. Can provide an appropriate and effective logical structure which helps the reader to find significant points.
C1
- C1
CEF C1 level
rng - C1
Has a good command of a broad range of language allowing him/her to select a formulation to express him-/herself clearly in an appropriate style on a wide range of general, academic, professional or leisure topics without having to restrict what he/she wants to say. The flexibility in style and tone is somewhat limited.
acc - C1
Consistently maintains a high degree of grammatical accuracy; occasional errors in grammar, collocations and idioms.
coh - C1
Can produce clear, smoothly flowing, well-structured text, showing controlled use of organizational patterns, connectors and cohesive devices.
arg - C1
Can write clear, detailed, well-structured expositions of complex subjects, underlining the relevant salient issues. Can expand and support point of view with subsidiary points, reasons and relevant examples.
B2.2
- B2.2
CEF B2.2 level
rng - B2.2
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2 : Has a sufficient range of language to be able to give clear descriptions, express viewpoints on  most general topics, using some complex sentence forms to do so. Language lacks, however, expressiveness and idiomaticity, and use of more complex forms is still stereotypic.
acc - B2.2
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2: Shows a relatively high degree of grammatical control. Does not make errors which cause misunderstandings.
coh - B2.2
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2: Can use a limited number of cohesive devices to link his/her sentences into clear, coherent text, though there may be some "jumpiness" in a longer text.
arg - B2.2
Can write an essay or report that develops an argument systematically with appropriate highlighting of significant points and relevant supporting detail. Can evaluate different ideas or solutions to a problem.
B2.1
- B2.1
CEF B2.1 level
rng - B2.1
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2 : Has a sufficient range of language to be able to give clear descriptions, express viewpoints on  most general topics, using some complex sentence forms to do so. Language lacks, however, expressiveness and idiomaticity, and use of more complex forms is still stereotypic.
acc - B2.1
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2: Shows a relatively high degree of grammatical control. Does not make errors which cause misunderstandings.
coh - B2.1
applies to both B2.1 and B2.2: Can use a limited number of cohesive devices to link his/her sentences into clear, coherent text, though there may be some "jumpiness" in a longer text.
arg - B2.1
Can write an essay or report which develops an argument, giving reasons in support o or against a particular point of view and explaining the advantages and disadvantages of various options. Can synthesize information and arguments from a number of sources.
B1.2
- B1.2
CEF B1.2 level
rng - B1.2
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Has enough language to get by, with sufficient vocabulary to express him/herself with some circumlocutions on topics such as family, hobbies and interests, work, travel, and current events.
acc - B1.2
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Uses reasonably accurately a repertoire of frequently used "routines" and patterns associated with more common situations. Occasionally makes errors that the reader usually can interpret correctly on the basis of the context.
coh - B1.2
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Can link a series of shorter discrete elements into a connected, linear text.
arg - B1.2
Can write short, simple essays on topics of interest. Can summarize, report and give his/her opinion about accumulated factual information on a familiar routine and non-routine matters, within his field with some confidence.
B1.1
- B1.1
CEF B1.1 level
rng - B1.1
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Has enough language to get by, with sufficient vocabulary to express him/herself with some circumlocutions on topics such as family, hobbies and interests, work, travel, and current events.
acc - B1.1
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Uses reasonably accurately a repertoire of frequently used "routines" and patterns associated with more common situations. Occasionally makes errors that the reader usually can interpret correctly on the basis of the context.
coh - B1.1
applies to both B1.1 and B1.2: Can link a series of shorter discrete elements into a connected, linear text.
arg - B1.1
Can write very brief reports to a standard conventionalized format, which pass on routine factual information and state reasons for action.